My Doofy Slave
by daky
Summary: Doofenshmirtz makes a robot version of Perry in order to overcome his fear of him. But Vanessa has a better idea, so she takes him to a friend of hers that can help Doof...


It was a beautiful sunny day in Danville. As usual, Phineas and Ferb were in their backyard, sitting under their favorite tree and thinking of what should they be doing that day.

"So, Ferb, what should we do today?" asked Phineas. Ferb just shrugged.

"How about something edible? We could… I don't know… make the biggest taco in the world. Or the biggest pizza? Maybe the biggest cheeseburger?"

Isabella entered the yard.

"Hey, guys. Whatcha doin'?"

"We were just thinking what great thing we should do today" replied Phineas. "Maybe you have some…" he stopped, and then turned around. "Hey, where's Perry?"

Perry was already fighting Doofenshmirtz, who had another evil scheme and another Inator. During the fight, Perry punched Doofenshmirtz who accidentally pressed the self-destruct button on his invention. He heard a mechanical voice:

"Self-distraction sequence activated."

Knowing that he had foiled Doofenshmirtz's evil plan once again, Perry jumped off the terrace of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building, activated his parachute and floated away, followed by an explosion and Doofenshmirtz's exclaim "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

Doofenshmirtz was sitting in wrecked room, all grimy and miserable.

"Defeated by Perry the Platypus… once again. I can't stand it. I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!"

He started walking around and thinking.

"Hmm… what can I do to show my nemesis who's the boss? Maybe I… fear him? Maybe I should overcome that fear somehow?"

The story continues a few days later. Doof's daughter, Vanessa, was going to visit her father. Before she entered Doofenshmirtz's room, she heard her father's voice from the inside:

"That's right, Perry the Platypus. I finally won! You're my slave now! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Vanessa opened the door.

"Ah, Vanessa. You're just in time. Come and take a look at this."

Doofenshmirtz had a remote in his hand and he was using it to control a robot that looked exactly like Perry.

"Bow! Bow before me, you confounded animal!" he said, and then pressed a button on his remote and robot Perry bowed to Vanessa and him.

"Did you see that, Vanessa? Perry the Platypus is bowing to us."

"Um, dad… That's not real Perry. That's just a robot."

"I know it's a robot, thank you very much. I made it myself." He pressed another button on his remote. "Come here, slave."

Perry approached him. Doofenshmirtz handed him a shoe-brush.

"Now clean my shoes!" Robot Perry started doing so.

"Ha-ha! Do you see? Do you see?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"Dad… I'll be honest. This is your silliest scheme yet."

"It's not silly! Making Perry the robot was a difficult thing to do, you know. I had to use all my evil knowledge in order to make it."

"Can I give you a piece of advice?" Vanessa asked.

"Sure, honey."

"You can entertain yourself in any way you want… but I think you should visit the doctor."

"Heh. Heh. Just listen to her. I already paid my psychiatrist a visit, my dear. And he's the one who suggested me to make a robot in order to overcome my fear of Perry."

"If you fear him, I don't think a robot will help."

"Oh? Then what _will_ help, smarty?"

"You have to make _real_ Perry to bow to you."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Just wait." Vanessa took her cell phone and started searching through her phone book.

"Ah! Here she is. Ellie."

"Ellie? Who's Ellie?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"It's a friend of mine who's into that weird inventing stuff, just like you. Maybe she could help you. Let's pay her a visit."

Vanessa took her father to aforementioned Ellie. After they explained the situation to her, Ellie said:

"You know, Vanessa, I think I have just the thing that will help your dad."

"Really?"

"Yes. Excuse me for a moment, please." Ellie went to the other room and she came back with a bottle of liquid.

"Mr. Doofenshmirtz, here's the thing you need: my invention that I like to call Resistance Breaker. With this liquid you'll be able to break every person's resistance. If you squirt it in someone's face, that person will obey your every command for the next 24 hours."

"Perfect! Just what I need to make Perry the Platypus my slave!" Doofenshmirtz was overjoyed.

"Just make sure the liquid doesn't squirt in your face."

"And why?"

"Gee, what a dumb question. Then the liquid would affect YOU!"

"Oh, yeah. Right." Doofenshmirtz was embarrassed. "So… how much does it cost?"

"Well, I don't usually sell my inventions, but since I'm a friend of your daughter…"

Ellie pulled Vanessa to the side and asked her quietly so Doofenshmirtz couldn't hear them:

"You said he receives a big alimony check every month, right?"

"Yes…"

"…But since I'm a friend of your daughter", Ellie continued loudly, "I'll sell it to you for… let's say… $500."

Doofenshmirtz took the money out of his pocket immediately.

"Here ya go."

"Thanks and… good luck with the liquid."

Back in the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building, the next morning, Doofenshmirtz was sitting in front of his computer.

"Vanessa, be a sweetheart and pour the liquid in a spray bottle while I send these fake information to Monogram."

Vanessa started doing as she was told.

"Ah, I love it when we do stuff together. There's nothing better than good ol' father-daughter bonding." Doofenshmirtz said.

"We're not bonding. I'm just pouring your liquid in a spray bottle."

Doof frowned. "Thanks for that, Miss Ruins-A-Father-Daughter-Moment."

On that same evening, Monogram called Perry to his lair for the second time that day.

"Hello, Agent P. Sorry to disturb you twice in one day, but we've got information that Doofenshmirtz is into something evil again, and he's at the city park. You know what to do."

Perry saluted and went to the park, followed by his "dooby-dooby-doo-wah" theme.

Doofenshmirtz made an ambush. He was waiting for Perry, ready to squirt him with Resistance Breaker.

"As soon as he walks here…Squirt!" he was already enjoying it.

But then he heard some growling behind him. He turned around and noticed an angry dog, which was in the mood for fight.

"He doesn't seem very friendly… I gotta run!" Doof thought and started running. The dog was chasing him.

While running, Doof turned around to see if he's been losing the dog, and he hasn't noticed a tree in front of him. He hit the tree, fell on the ground and dropped the spray bottle that broke.

"Oh, no! My Resistance Breaker!"

The angry dog was approaching him. Irritated Doof threw a piece of glass at him, with some liquid still on it. "This is all your fault, you gosh-darned mutt! Get lost!"

The dog immediately turned around and walked away.

"Well, what do ya know? He actually obeyed me!" Doof thought. "I hit him with some Resistance Breaker and he became obedient." Then he slapped his forehead: "Oh, how stupid I am! I could've used the liquid as soon as I saw him!"

Doof sadly walked home. Soon after that, Perry arrived at the park, but didn't find Doof there since he had already went. After wandering around for some time, he realized that his nemesis wasn't there, so he just shrugged and left the park.

"You're back already?" Vanessa asked when she saw her father entering the room. "Perry didn't show up?"

"He probably did, but I had to leave before I even saw him." Doofenshmirtz replied. "You see, before I got to squirt Perry with the obedience liquid, I was attacked by an angry dog."

"So what? You could've squirted the dog as well, and he'd obey you."

"Yes, but when it occurred to me, it was already too late. While running from him, I hit a tree, and… the spray bottle fell on the ground and shattered."

"Oh, my gosh! Five hundred dollars… went down the drain!"

"I know, right?" Doof sat on his chair.

"Well, I guess you'll have to wait… at least till the next month. You need new $500 for another bottle of Resistance Breaker."

"But I can't wait that long!"

"Well, what are you gonna do?"

"Maybe I could build some kind of a Money-Maker-Inator" and make myself another $500."

"Wouldn't that be counterfeiting?"

"Duh! I'm an evil scientist. That's what we do: making evil schemes, building evil machines, counterfeiting… all kinds of misdeeds".

"Dad, I wish you wouldn't do that."

"You're right, Vanessa. What I really need to do is…" Doof ran into another room and came back with a sock on his head and holding a plastic gun. "…ROB A BANK!"

"And that's… better?" Vanessa asked.

"Look, I'm in a desperate need of money. So I'll go and rob a bank. I'm evil. That's what evil people do: doing evil things. You know?" He moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To rob a bank."

"Maybe you could at least wait until tomorrow?"

"All right…" Doof came back. "If you think I should do that, then I'll do that."

"Hmm", Vanessa thought. "He seems awfully obedient."

A few moments later, Vanessa entered the room Doof's been sitting in. She was holding a broom.

"Dad, would you mind cleaning up the kitchen?"

"Not at all, my dear. Give me that broom." Doofenshmirtz took the broom, went into the kitchen and started sweeping without a single complaint.

"No doubt about it", Vanessa thought. "When he hit that tree, some of the liquid sprinkled him as well. In the next 24 hours, he'll be as obedient as a dog."

When Doofenshmirtz was done cleaning the kitchen, Vanessa said: "Well done! Now clean the dishes. Make sure you rub them good."

"Don't you worry." Doof was already on it.

The next morning Doof was changing wallpapers. "Look, Vanessa, I put new wallpapers on every wall like you asked me to."

"Good", Vanessa said. "Now, do you still want to get revenge on Perry?"

"Sure."

"For the new bottle of Resistance Breaker, you need another $500."

"Which I don't have."

"Then hurry and go to the bank."

Doof took his sock and his plastic gun and left.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told him to do that", Vanessa thought to herself when she stayed alone, "but he always tells me to show my evil side. He was so proud of me when I took that Mary McGuffin doll from that little girl and left her crying. Maybe it's for the best if I support him in his evil schemes and the things he's doing. What I'm worried about is that it hasn't passed 24 hours from the moment he hit that tree… But I don't think he'll have problems. Nobody could confront an armed robber."

Doof entered the bank with the sock over his hand and with the plastic gun in his hand.

"All right, everyone, hands up! This is a robbery!"

Much to his misfortune, Vanessa wasn't right when she thought that no one will confront an armed robber. Some old lady walked out in front of the mass and asked Doof in a bold voice:

"Aren't you a bit doofy to be robbing a bank?"

Still being under the influence of the obedience liquid, Doof just uttered:

"Well… yes. Yes, I am."

"Then drop that piece of junk!" the old lady knocked the gun off his hand.

"There are so many other ways to rob a bank", she continued, "without frightening peaceful folks, isn't that so?"

"That's correct", Doof replied.

"So get the heck out of here, you scumbag! Go do something non-evil."

Doof just sighed, took the sock off his face and walked out.

"So, Dad, is everything okay?" Vanessa asked him when he entered his apartment in Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

"No, everything is _not_ okay." Doof sat down and told Vanessa what happened at the bank.

"Tell you what, Dad", she said after that. "Get a good night sleep and try again tomorrow. But this time try to be more decisive."

But, during that evening, 24 hours from the moment when he hit the tree had expired. He was his old stubborn self again.

"You know what, Vanessa? I can't wait until tomorrow! I must make Perry pay now!"

"Without the obedience liquid?", Vanessa asked.

"No, _with_ the liquid. Ellie must give me a new bottle. I'll pay her when my alimony check arrives."

He went to Ellie's, but…

"No, I don't accept deferred payment." Ellie was categorical.

"But I don't have the money at the moment!"

"That's your problem."

Doofenshmirtz got angry. "Listen, toots! Give me another bottle of obedience liquid, or I'll…"

"You'll what?" Ellie asked without a sense of fear in her voice.

"I'll… I'll… I'll make some sort of a Make-Ellie-Suffer-For-Not-Helping-Me-Inator! And then you'll be sorry!"

"Oh, all right… but you'll have to wait."

"Why?"

"I don't have enough liquid. I'll have to make you some." Ellie took one bottle. "I've only got a few drops left. Look…"

And she – can you guess it? – squirted some liquid in his face.

"Ha-ha-ha! You're so naïve! You'll be my slave for the next 24 hours!"

"Yes, sir… I mean ma'am… I mean mistress."

Ellie took the key to her cellar.

"I just needed someone to clean up my cellar. Here's the key… and don't goof off!"

Doofenshmirtz spent that night cleaning Ellie's cellar. He wanted to refuse her, but, of course, he simply couldn't do it because of the liquid.

The next morning Ellie came to the cellar to check out on Doof. The cellar was clean as a whistle.

"Good, good. You did a great job. I'm very satisfied. As a reward, I'll let you go and… wait for it…" she went to her cabinet and came back with a bottle.

"…I'm giving you one bottle of obedience liquid… for free!"

"Really? That's so nice of you!"

"You may go now. Give my regards to Vanessa!"

After Doofenshmirtz left, Ellie went to her workroom.

"That idiot dared to threaten me. Of all the nerves!"

She took her headphones and started operating one of her devices.

"Cleaning the cellar was nothing. Now he'll suffer the real punishment."

While operating the device, Ellie was thinking.

"He mentioned that secret agent platypus he's after. Secret agents have communicators. If I could use this device to contact that Perry…"

After some time, she managed to establish a connection with Perry's communicator while Perry was in his "mindless animal" mode in Phineas' and Ferb's yard.

"Perry… Perry, do you hear me?" he heard Ellie speaking, and he became confused because he expected to hear Monogram's voice.

"Listen." Ellie continued. "You don't know me, but we have a mutual enemy – Dr. Doofenshmirtz. And he wants to trick you into becoming his slave. You probably want to foil his evil plan, right? Then meet me at the city park and I'll tell you what to do…"

Later that night, Monogram called Perry to his lair again.

"Agent P, we have another situation. You know… Doofenshmirtz, old abandoned furniture factory, some evil scheme. Get down to it."

Perry went to the abandoned furniture factory. He carefully entered the door, but as soon as he made a few steps, Doof jumped him and squirted some liquid in his face.

"Surprise, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry was looking at him in a hypnotized way.

"Now I'm the master of your fate!" Doof exclaimed gleefully. "Take a bow!"

Perry did as he was told. "Now turn around."

Perry turned his back on him. Doof kicked him in the butt as hard as he could.

"Oh, this is just too good to be true!" Doof started laughing maniacally. Then he found some old armchair, he sat in it and continued giving Perry orders.

"Come here, slave! I want to place my feet on you."

Perry stood in front on him and got on all fours so Doof could put his feet on him.

"Ah… this is the life. But, you know, I'm feeling kinda thirsty." He took his feet off Perry. "Hey, slave, find me something to drink! Liquor or something non-alcoholic, I don't mind."

Perry left the room and came back after a few minutes, holding a bottle and a glass.

"Oh, goody. You're fast."

Perry gave him the glass and then he started opening the bottle.

"So, what did you find? Is that liquor or…"

Before Doof could finish his sentence, Perry poured some of the liquid from the bottle on him. That was actually Resistance Breaker – courtesy of Ellie who met Perry earlier in the park.

Doof got up. He was in trance.

"Feeling… weird… Must… obey… Perry… the… Platypus…"

Perry gave him a sign "turn around" with his hand.

"You want me to turn around, Perry the Platypus? Your wish is my command!" Doof turned his back on Perry, who took a run and kicked him in the butt, like Doof did earlier.

After that, Perry invited Doof to follow him and they went to the house Perry lived. Perry knew that the whole Flynn-Fletcher family was going out that evening.

Indeed, the whole family – Lawrence, Linda, Candace, Phineas and Ferb – was about to go.

"I still think we shouldn't go without Perry" said Phineas.

"Well, where is he?" Linda asked.

"Dunno. He usually wanders off during the day, but he always comes back before sundown."

Then Ferb put his hand on Phineas' shoulder and uttered:

"I think he can take care of himself wherever he is."

"All right", Phineas said, "but… I'm still a bit worried."

Perry and Doof came near the house. Perry made sure everyone's left first, and then they entered the yard. (He also knew Doof won't remember the house's location in his state – Ellie told him so.)

Using his special key, part of his secret agent gear, he unlocked the door, entered the house and commanded Doof to come in with his finger. Doof did so.

Perry went to another room and came back with a mop and a bucket of water.

"You want me to mop up the floors in your house? Sure", said Doof. Soon he was cleaning and even singing in the process.

Perry sat in an armchair, took some cookies and milk and enjoyed himself wile Doof was laboring. After some time, his video communicator beeped. He saw Ellie on the little screen.

"Hey, Perry, did everything work fine?" Perry nodded.

"I guess you first let him believe you're obedient when he squirted you… with the ordinary water I gave him for free! Ha-ha-ha!"

"Gggggrrrrrrrrr" Perry growled affirmatively.

"Well, that sly-boots will be your slave for the whole day. Have fun!"

Doof was still working and singing in the other room.

"Whistle while you work… doody-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo …"

Suddenly, he stopped working. He was completely confused. "But… but…"

Then he walked into the room Perry was in.

"Hey, Perry the Platypus… let me tell you everything."

Perry gave him a "you-have-my-attention" look.

"See… three days ago I wanted to make you my slave", Doof started confessing. "I wanted to make you obedient using some sort of liquid, but instead, I ended up cleaning the room, washing the dishes and changing the wallpapers back at my house. Then I went to the bank to… um… get some money, but I was disarmed by some old lady. Then that girl named Ellie made me clean up her cellar. I came back to make you pay for everything… and here I am holding a mop and cleaning your house."

Perry's communicator was still active with Ellie still on the line, so she could hear everything.

"Hey, Doof, you hear me? I heard the whole story. Yes, I might have been a bit too hard on you, but that's what you get for threatening me.

Perry and Ellie both looked at Doof (Ellie, of course, could see him through the communicator). He was still completely confused, puzzled, and kind of miserable.

"You know what, Perry?" Ellie said. "I think the floors are clean enough, huh? Maybe you should let him go?"

They knew Doof had learned his lesson, so Perry took the mop from him and showed him the front door with a smile on his face. Doof understood it meant "you're free to go".

"Come on, big guy" he heard Ellie over the communicator. "Go home. Go to sleep. You're tired."

Doofenshmirtz walked out the door. After a few steps in the yard, he turned around and said quietly:

"Thank you… Perry the Platypus."

Perry was standing at the door watching him tottering down the street.

"Poor Doof", Ellie commented. "If Vanessa notices his state, she'll make him labor all day long tomorrow!"

"Ggggggrrrrrrrrr" Perry agreed with a growl.

END


End file.
